I Almost Bailed on my First Shoot as a Freelance Model
If you can’t tell by now, I’m new to this whole freelance modelling thing
TFP: ‘TFP usually stands for Trade For Print. A team — generally a photographer and a model (or models) — collaborates on a photography project. Everyone works for free, but they all receive the TFP shots to use in their portfolios.’ (Source)
So today I had a photoshoot. There I was, 2.5 hrs before I had to arrive at the agreed location, thinking about how this could all possibly turn out. For better or worse of course. I was the model. And it was a bikini shoot at the beach. So, some raw, honest thoughts were rampaging through my head:
- I’m getting the nervous tummy, turns. I don’t need any bloating or nervy poops right now!
- Hopefully, the photos turn out decent and I, he, or we don’t mess them up.
- I wish I waxed the hoo-ha for this instead of shaving… I KNOW I’m not going to be happy with an itchy butt tomorrow… at least I’m silky smooth currently.
- Please don’t be a dodgy photographer, please don’t be a dodgy photographer.
- Is black too plain of a bikini? Is that too boring? Ok, I’ll bring another one just in case.
- I hope this turns out good! Wait what if it turns out bad? Wait what if I hate the whole experience?!
- Should I just pull out now? No! that makes me so unreliable… but should someone do something they’re not comfortable with?
If you can’t tell by now, I’m new to this whole freelance modelling thing. So there were quite a few things running through the ol’ noggin over here. Half of me was excited to give it a shot and the other half of me wanted to bail REAL bad.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done some modelling before. I’ve done a course with a trusted and pretty awesome photographer who I still regularly work with. I’ve also done some other work with my older sister. And I really enjoyed working with each of them!
So surely this would be fine, yeah?
The end goal for modelling would be to work paid gigs every time. However, while I’m gaining experience and building my portfolio, both paid gigs and TFPs it would be.
Today’s shoot would also be completely out of my comfort zone. I’ve only ever worked in a studio professionally or at home with my sister. AND I’ve never met this small photographer either. What could go wrong? *cries internally*. So while I sat there some more, I felt the tummy turns (that would promise to become gas) coming on, and made my decision… I was going to bail.
BUT THEN I DIDN’T!
With a dismissive flick of my hand and an unconvincing, ‘I don’t care. I’ll be fine,’ I had decided I was actually going to go.
Fast forward to 5:30 pm in the afternoon, when I first arrived at the beach with my friend, I nervously waited by the public toilets and outdoor showers for the photographer to show up. I was looking at some of his work when I glanced up and saw a guy with a bag and light in hand walking toward where we were standing. That’s got to be him, right? As he got closer he asked simply,
‘Emily?’.
And I, a little too eagerly thanks to the nerves, went forward to shake his hand. He introduced himself, we talked a little, started walking and the nerves slowly dissipated. I picked up on the vibes and could tell he was actually a lovely guy. THANK GOD!
After some walking, we didn’t want a busy spot, we chose a little rocky hideaway on the side of the beach where my weak ass feet found the bubbly like rocks painful to walk on. But no matter! You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. Especially to get the shot, right? I’d soon find out that was most definitely the case.
As soon as we got there, we pretty much got straight into it. My first fit was a plain black bikini. I was up against a wall of rocks facing the ocean while the photographer took the shots right at the water’s edge. Now you might be thinking,
‘what goes through a new freelance model’s head when she’s posing?’.
Well, let me enlighten you real quick…
- Is my body tense and on the right angle?
- Oop, my hands were flat. Keep them soft and sideways, Emily!
- THE LIGHT! MY EYES! I’VE BEEN BLINDED!!! (The reflection off the water was extremely intense. I was basically crying).
- Ok, ok relax the face, relax the face.
- Damn my feet be in an awkward position.
- Is my hair ok? Or did the wind blow it into a bird’s nest?
- … Zambreros sounds good right about now… NO. FOCUS!
But as time went on, my thoughts settled more and more, and I slowly got into the rhythm of things.
To combat being blinded and crying, I’d close my eyes; he’d count to 3 and then I’d have to fling them open in pain and mould my wince into a ‘model stare’. An effort and a half I kid you not. Some laughs were shared every time the waves would catch someone too close to the edge and I would continually change between my black and red bikini to do my thing both close and far from the rocky edge.
Our favourite photo of the day was captured when I was standing really close to the edge on some really pointy rocks…ouch… and the waves had decided they wanted to throw a bit of a tantrum. I posed and we waited. As a wave came closer, my only thought was ‘sh*t’ before it crashed into the rocks and all hell broke loose as it rained down upon me. The only thing I could do was stand still in my pose as my eyes were fiercely met with seawater and I was thoroughly drenched from head to toe.
Not bad for a good blinding, hey? The rest of the time was spent kneeling in the water, my friend had now become our lighting assistant, as I was tossed around again and again by the incoming waves. At one point I was lying down and when a wave crashed into me, I was tossed into some rocks and emerged bleeding with a lovely scratch along my knee. It was only earlier, when my legs were weak from holding me up, that I had slipped on some rocks and sliced my foot as well. I was now collecting a lovely souvenir of possible scars. #worthit.
When it was time to go I was actually feeling amazing! I felt fully refreshed and pumped from all the adrenaline running through my veins. I hadn’t felt that good in ages! We said our goodbyes and soon after we were on our way. I would receive a couple of the photos later that night.
So for my first ever TFP shoot outside of a studio, I would say it was a great success! A good time, experience, and some decent photos for the portfolio were most definitely earned that day. I’m glad I didn’t bail last minute and allowed myself to experience something outside of my comfort zone. Because there seems to be a difference between stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something you’re not comfortable with. And hey, I guess you’ll never know what you may have missed out on unless you give it a try.
~
